I just finished the first part of a fictional book that is loosely inspired by some personal current events. I don’t think I’ve been this excited about anything I’ve written…. EVER!!! I’ve been using my recent days and weeks to explore my creative gifts and I’m thankful to God for this one because I’m so enamored with it. I could write just about anytime, about nearly anything, almost anywhere.
As I’ve been writing, I’ve tried not to think about making this a money making endeavor and doing it simply for the joy of it. Writing in this way has been a freeing experience. I’ve been writing as to an audience, but I have no preconceived notions about who that audience is.
It hasn’t been without its challenges, though. I can’t seem to get out of my own head. I find myself second-guessing every sentence, every word. How will this be perceived? Is that too harsh? Is that really what I’m trying to say? I guess this is all part of the process. The more I do it, the more comfortable I will become with it.
Right now I’m investing in the creative gift God has placed in my hand and attempting to honor Him with it, yet remain authentic to the experiences of my life. Some might say these are two different, mutually exclusive endeavors. I’ve come to learn that my expression of who I am does not have to be in conflict with who He has created me to be. More and more, I’m at peace with that and I find that I’m spending less time “trying to be” and more time simply “being.” The less I “try to be” and instead just “be”, the more I am finding the desires of my heart and recognizing that all these things are being added to me. What’s important to Him is important to me.
It’s taken quite some time for me to be this comfortable in my own skin. For better or worse, I am me, flaws and all. I’m not settled with where I am, but I’m not ashamed, or attempting to hide from how I got here. There’s still work to be done. God’s not finished with me yet.
While I long for what’s ahead, I’m not so focused on tomorrow that I miss the beauty of today. A favorite song unexpectedly plays while my music collection is on random. Sitting at a stop sign and hearing the chirping of birds.
The sight of cottonwood in early to mid June for me signals the end of the spring allergy season. It’s a bittersweet sight for me because I know that I will be free of the runny noses, watery-eyes, and itchy eyes. It also signals the beginning of summer’s heat. Even that provides promise.